Season's greetings and gruntings

So here we are - my favorite time of year. It's not because this is a time of reflection upon the year past or a time to pour out your heart in a season of giving, cheer, f amily togetherness, lights, trees, decorations and holiday tradition. It's because I have now a perfectly good excuse to revel in excess of holiday parties -- office potlucks, house shindigs, perhaps being a guest to a full-on corporate bash, which I hear still exists in some quarters.

No, rather I get to double-up on "special" hot chocolate and essentially empty my supply of Bailey's Irish Cream and Kahlua in eggnog. The pies! Look at all the pies! Look at the tamales! IHOP provides reason No. 2,742 why the terrorists hate us -- all-you-can-eat gingerbread pancakes.

There's countless airings of traditional holiday flicks such as "It's a Wonderful Life," "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Christmas Story" paired with newer classics such as "Bad Santa," "Scrooged" and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." Or if you're feeling really cinematically adventurous, check out "newer" holiday classics such as "Die Hard" (the original and first sequel), "Gremlins" and the original "Lethal Weapon." Nothing says ho-ho-ho like gunning for European terrorists (oh, sorry, Hans Gruber...high-class thieves), a Mogwai's malevolent offspring and drug dealers. You're not livin' the yuletide festivus mood until you've seen Christmas episodes of "The Boondocks," "Moral Orel," "Metalocalypse" or "Futurama." (Gracias mainly to Cartoon Network and Adult Swim!)

Traditional holiday tunes are on a loop. You can have your "Jingle Bells," "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" and "White Christmas." I'll happily take "Santa Claus and His Ol' Lady," the McKenzie brothers' "The 12 Days of Christmas," "There's Something Stuck Up in the Chimney" and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

You're practically encouraged to dress up your friends and loved ones -- two- and four-legged -- in ill-advised outfits (pictured). Shiner Bock's seasonal Shiner Cheer. A craving to consume mead. And best of all this year? As of today we're 364 days left. For everything and anything. Then the calendar of the ancient Mayans (they who knew what was up and what time it was) will end in a cataclysmic orgy of volcanic eruptions, massive tsunamis, subduction of the Earth's crust and general dismay and disenchantment worldwide. It's safe to assume that not event John Cusack in a speeding limo or RV won't be able to save us all.

Until the end of the world -- Merry/Feliz/Happy Christmas/Navidad/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Solstice and enjoy 2012 -- all 355 days of it.

BCS Has Eaten My Brain

I don't doubt the two best schools, poll-wise, will play for this year's NCAA Division I football national championship. But yet, how we arrive there -- in relation to other schools and where they belong or don't -- again is a source of frustration. I speak of course of The Bull Crap Series, errr, umm, Bowl Championship Series.

LSU and Alabama, among others, displayed another season’s worth of dominance across the Southeastern Conference (most of it anyway), particularly on the defensive end. These are two primed, well-coached, brutal college football programs. But – ahem, a rematch. We already saw this game a few weeks ago. Does anyone outside of the SEC really want to see the sequel? Alabama had its shot at LSU and lost. Didn’t win their conference.

You might call Alabama/LSU the best championship game match-up possible, but is Alabama the most deserving opponent here? The BCS gurus again “got it right,” in a manner of speaking according to the existing system. But the BCS gurus, and their supporting army of anti-playoff honks, also make a case – yet again – that their system is flawed and should no longer be used to pick the two programs to fight for a national championship.

Sure the Crimson Tide’s lone loss this year was a tight, narrow one to a powerful No. 1 squad. But it’s not like Alabama squashed Oklahoma State somewhere this year. Sure, Oklahoma State had a bid to run the table but failed by a bit to Iowa State. However, the Cowboys beat eight bowl-bound teams. Oklahoma State may not be the “better’ team than Alabama, but we don’t know that until we play it out on the field, right? Five years ago, we had half a dozen teams that had a legitimate shot at the BCS title game only to be bumped out by the eventual selected programs, LSU and Ohio State.

Again, BCS gurus might say those were the nation’s best two teams at that time. But were the likes of Hawaii and Virginia Tech and Kansas mere chopped liver? Ultimately, we leave things to a computer, decimal points, to determine who should play for the national championship. Even worse, the BCS uses the coaches’ poll and the Harris Interactive poll. Quite a few coaches have OSU pegged fourth or lower. Not surprisingly that coaches are biased, myopic and play politics. However, it’s doesn’t make me feel any better that a lot of these coaches leave actual voting to their respective sports information directors.

But then in the Harris poll, 16 voters ranked OSU below No. 3. This after the Cowboys destroy the Oklahoma in the Bedlam Series? The computer doesn’t care about the margin of victory in that specific case, and human voters probably do and should for the most part. But it’s like the rout of the Sooners didn’t even happen. It’s like it didn’t matter. What world are they living in? Not enough? There’s the flaw of how BCS king-makers compile computer rankings, making no distinction between a small and large gap between two teams.

It’s not shocking that coaches who feel their schools got stiffed this year somehow are criticizing this year’s BCS schedule outcome. Yes, Boise State had another chance to run the table only to screw the pooch in kicking a field goal against TCU. Boise State coach Chris Petersen, whose Broncos were left again out of a BCS bowl and passed over for “higher bowls” by the likes of Michigan and Virginia Tech, said: "The whole thing needs to be changed, there's no question about it.” " ... I think (change) is coming, I really do,” added Petersen, whose Broncos are headed for a classic Maaco Las Vegas Bowl. This is the first time since the BCS expanded to five games that a school outside of the conferences with automatic qualifying bids failed to make a BCS bowl. Dale Wetzel in his Yahoo rant last week said, “The current formula is nothing more than nonsense math and an unsound popular vote that gets polished up by television. Anyone who cares about college football should demand something better.”

Those “powers that be” are primarily television executives and power conference presidents who only want to see and sell sex when it comes to bowl games. They'd rather arbitrarily pair two traditional powerhouses via a computer rather than let rising star schools settle such questions where it truly counts: on the playing field. Just like virtually every other level of sport. Wow. What a startling concept. Even the Kazahkistani kick-goathead league has a playoff. I’ve won money there. Without the NCAA basketball tournament, schools like George Mason and Butler likely would have never made it to the Final Four. You see Gonzagas and Marquettes make their mark on the national scene. Without the College World Series, schools like Cal State-Fullerton and Long Beach State -- not so much a Texas or USC -- get to shine and quite often.

Well, we won’t waste further time going into the minds of those myopically opposed to a NCAA Division I tournament of some kind. Even the “bowl games are a tradition” and “schools will lose money” and “you can’t make the student-athletes play that long or late into January” philosophies. None of those arguments really work. Never did, never will. Some say the BCS isn’t perfect, but that it’s a start.

So, what if a playoff system did exist for college football? My goodness, what fun that’d be. OK, let’s use BCS as a springboard. This is what I'd do. You start with automatic champions from 11 FBS (Football Championship Series) conferences (regular-season champs and/or championship game victors). If there are co-champions, it’s up to the affected conference to determine who gets what we’ll call an FBS bid. You could combine the final regular season total average poll ranking with regular-season head-to-head outcomes for a tie-breaker. (Sound unfair? Good. You get to retain some semblance of unfairness in the process of arriving at a final national champion)

You could average the rankings of the AP, ESPN, USA Today, Harris and Coaches' polls, emphasizing which schools get the most place votes and arrive at a final aggregate Top 25 poll (a de facto BCS ranking system without the computer interference). Those are arguably the strongest, long-standing, most popular and credible of Division I polls. And you get to a beautiful bracket like the one above (courtesy of NCAA). Isn't it gorgeous and awe-inspiring?

Here’s what a final 2011 FBS aggregate poll would look like:

1. LSU (SEC title game champion)
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma State (Big 12 champion)
4. Stanford
5. Oregon (Pac-10 title game champion)
6. Boise State
7. Arkansas
8. Wisconsin (Big 10 title game champion)
9. South Carolina
10. Kansas State
11. Virginia Tech (ACC Coastal Division champion)
12. Michigan
13. Michigan State
14. Clemson (ACC title game champion)
15. Baylor
16. TCU (Mountain West champion)
17. Houston
18. Georgia (SEC Eastern Division champion)
19. Oklahoma
20. Nebraska
21. Southern Miss (Conference USA title game champion)
22. West Virginia (Big East champion)
23. Penn State
24. Cincinnati
25. Florida State
Northern Illinois (MAC title game champion); Arkansas State (Sun Belt champion); Louisiana Tech (WAC champion)

Ultimately, FBS automatic bids go to LSU, Oklahoma State, Oregon, Wisconsin, Clemson, TCU, Southern Miss, West Virginia, Northern Illinois, Arkansas State and Louisiana Tech

You add the top independent team ranked high enough (overall in polls) for an FBS bid and/or four (or five) other highest-ranked schools (overall in polls). So this year these schools get an at-large bid: Alabama, Stanford, Boise State, Arkansas and South Carolina.

The ultimate FBS tournament seedings in a 16 vs. 1, 15 vs. 2, 14, vs. 3, etc. format would be:

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma State
4. Stanford
5. Oregon
6. Boise State
7. Arkansas
8. Wisconsin
9. South Carolina
10. Clemson
11. TCU
12. Southern Miss
13. West Virginia
14. Northern Illinois
15. Louisiana Tech
16. Arkansas State

Take into account the oldest, popular, most lucrative, traditional bowls and mix in some regional flair and considerate schedules. You can keep some of the best bowls. (I mean, really. The glut of bowls is ludicrous. More and more are added each year, some from inauspicious sponsors. Does anyone care to see the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl? Oooh, barnburner. Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl? Really? New Era Pinstripe? Good lord. Belk Bowl? What the hell is a Belk Bowl? Oh, we could so perpetuate a Roady's Truck Stops FreeCreditReport.com Pomegranate Cherry Salad Bowl presented by Franklin American Mortgage Company joke.

All joking aside, use 15 of those prestigious, richest, most famous (i.e. powerful, established) bowls as the FBS bowl matches. All other bowls… yes, even your precious Idaho Potato, Beef O’Brady’s St. Petersburg, Little Caesars, GoDaddy.com… may remain independent and ongoing aside from the FBS contests. No changes needed there.

Rotate the FBS bowls as quarterfinal, semifinal and final games, all of which could retain and maybe even increase the number of ticket-buyers, TV viewers and payouts. One reason? There’s even greater incentive to play in such a bowl. Not just one bowl. But a series of true head-to-head games where all the conference champions (not just the typical, known powerhouses) and other top-ranked squads have a genuine (and fair) shot at an undisputed national title. Throw in serious regional consideration and voila. Imagine that!

The younger, Decemberish bowls host quarterfinals on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, given this year’s calendar:

December 14
Louisiana Tech vs. Alabama - Independence Bowl, Shreveport
Northern Illinois vs. Oklahoma State - Insight (Copper) Bowl, Tempe

December 15
Arkansas State vs. LSU - Chick-Fil-A (Peach) Bowl, Atlanta
West Virginia vs. Stanford - Sun Bowl, El Paso

Dec. 16
South Carolina v. Wisconsin– Gator Bowl, Jacksonville
TCU vs. Boise State - Alamo Bowl, San Antonio

Dec. 17
Clemson vs. Arkansas – Liberty Bowl, Memphis
Southern Miss vs. Oregon – Holiday Bowl, San Diego

Probable winners?
Alabama, Oklahoma State, LSU, Stanford, TCU, South Carolina, Clemson, Oregon

More bowls in Thursday and Friday (or Saturday were it not for holiday) semifinals involve 1-16 vs. 8-9; 5-12 vs. 4-13; 6-11 vs. 3-14; 7-10 vs. 2-15.

Dec. 22
Alabama vs. Clemson– Capital One (Citrus) Bowl, Orlando
TCU vs. Oklahoma State– Cotton Bowl, Dallas

Dec. 23
Oregon vs. Stanford – Rose Bowl, Pasadena
South Carolina vs. LSU– Outback Bowl, Tampa

Probable winners?
Alabama, Oklahoma State, Oregon, LSU

Final Four of sorts/Friday, Dec. 30
Oregon vs. LSU - Fiesta Bowl, Tempe
Oklahoma State vs. Alabama- Orange Bowl, Miami

Probable winners?
LSU, Oklahoma State

Championship game, Friday, Jan. 6
Sugar Bowl, New Orleans
Oklahoma State vs. LSU

Just as well, the title game would still end up LSU/Alabama, too. But I guess we’ll never know. I recall how a House subcommittee approved legislation in late 2009 aimed at forcing college football to switch to a playoff system to determine a national champion, over the objections of some lawmakers who said Congress had more pressing matters on its plate. To those naysayers, I say screw war, health care and jobs. Give us a playoff system!

Mixing Muppets, Memories and Mass Media

I was correct! I got at least one chance to blog by the holidays. More like remembered I have a semblance of a blog. Not much to report at Casa Ortiz/Wallen except for the warm fuzzies Mindy and I felt watching "The Muppets. According to social media, we're not alone, waxing nostalgic about a weekly TV show that many of us Gen Xers adored and a few Gen Yers have seen in syndication or by other second-hand means.

Memories of Muppets movies past - the good and mediocre ones - cascaded over us. Random visual cues made me giddy like a little gurl: A Kermit the Frog wristwatch (you remember wristwatches, right?). I had that as a kid. A stuffed Kermit the Frog. (I had that, too.) The disco dance floor and screen frame for Amy Adams' diner song. And of course, "Rainbow Connection."

It helped that a fervent fan Jason Segel co-wrote the script. The musical numbers and overall writing, for the most part, are fun and clever enough to help established fans reconnect with the past and to link newcomers, raised on YouTube and Radio Disney, with a once proud franchise. The joy of seeing seemingly pre-destined Muppets toiling in their post-"Muppets Show" real-lives.

I don't pretend that the Muppets' voices and characterizations are a little "off." After all these years, why wouldn't they be? Today's Muppets are Jim Henson's enduring legacy; they aren't the original Muppets I worshipped in the late '70s and early '80s. The cameos - also bridging the generation gap - work. The plot for this particular "re-imagining" of a classic franchise succeeds. We could debate the particulars -- whether there was too little of the adults or too much of them -- all we want. But "The Muppets" met my and Mindy's expectations of revisiting a wonderful part of our childhood in such an entertaining manner.

The rest of Thanksgiving weekend was pretty easy-going — separate fulfilling meals with Mindy's family and my family. (Tamales and ham got into the mix.) There was the miracle of the Longhorns and Cowboys winning the same day. The rest of the time was spent merely lounging around the house, watching sports and staying practically glued to my chair while fighting any remote temptation of exercising or checking work email. (OK, I lie. I did check my work email on my mini-staycation. You thought I went to the gym on Turkey Day weekend - ha! You know that's unpossible!) Inevitably, so much holiday weekend time spent at home meant I was exposed to the daredevil spirit constantly displayed by our felines, such as Tubby the Orange (pictured).

I also can’t forget a San Antonio College mass communications student named Stephanie who interviewed me just prior to Thanksgiving, at the office, as part of her class assignment. Ah yes, I recall that SAC mass comm assignment — interview a local professional journalist. For my assignment, I dressed up (as if I were going in for an actual job), went to WOAI radio and interviewed a reporter. Jim Forsyth, if I’m not mistaken. Can’t remember, it was 20,000 years ago. Comparatively speaking, Stephanie did great. She was well prepared, articulate, had plenty of questions/follow-up queries and I gave her probably way too much info. Funny. I’m a soft-spoken, social wallflower, but actually talk to me for a few minutes and, before you know, it can’t stop gabbing. Well, that or an adult beverage or 3.

But perhaps the best part of my chat with Stephanie, beyond the obligatory media industry takes and advice, was anecdotal. I shared with her how so greatly enjoyed co-creating the San Antonio Scene alternative newspaper. (A-ha, a few of you locals perhaps saw our attempted challenge to the S.A. Current, lying on a newspaper rack somewhere around town.) Journalisting friends Raul and Martin (along with pals Diosdado and Daniel) and I produced a few issues on a shoestring budget, from our own homes, over the course of a year. It flamed out gloriously and I’m still in debt from that endeavor. But it continues to rank among the most fun profession-oriented activities in which I’ve ever been a part. I miss you, San Antonio Scene, vaya con Dios!

Stephanie’s interview also sparked another heartworming childhood memory, which actually makes things here come full circle. (You’ll see in a second.) The student asked when and how writing and journalism may have first entered my life. At age 10, I was an information junkie. At that time, being an info junkie – for me – was having my mother buy subscriptions to Astronomy and Time magazines. You read right…I SUBSCRIBED to Astronomy and Time at age 10. It was pouring through BOTH of San Antonio’s metro dailies. (Ours was a S.A. Light familia). It was reading copies of Popular Science and Popular Mechanics that my grandfather had stacked near his living room recliner. It was viewing the Weather Channel’s Atari-like radar screens and weather maps and the greatness that was the original CNN Headline News, when they actually had 30 minutes of national and world news around the clock, not the tabloid- and pundit-laden crap “HLN” has now. A shell of its former self. A shame.

But also at that age, while I didn’t literally envision myself being a future journalist, the way newspapers were produced piqued my curiosity. So much so that I asked my aunt Yolie, who worked at a paper company, to bring me home reams of dot matrix computer people (two sheets together roughly equaled the size of that era’s broadsheet newspaper page. I cut out pictures and articles from the Light, pasted them on differently sectioned “pages” of my “newspaper,” applied markers in different colors to various pages and – voila – I had my own “newspaper.” I had my own masthead, but sure, another publication’s copy and artwork. Somewhere in a closet at original Casa Ortiz lie Polaroids of me proudly showing off my mock dot matrix sheet newspaper. One of those pasted stories featured -­ you guessed it – The Muppets.

The more things change, you know the rest.

Minimal Sentimentality

I know you're busy today. Church. House chores. The first Sunday of the NFL season (i.e.The Campaign for Indifference in 2011 for Dallas Cowboys fans.). And I'm sure many of you are observing this historic day. Maybe a friend or loved one or colleague died on September 11, 2001. Perhaps you know of someone directly impacted by that day's happenings. Maybe you weren't affected but feel heartened by all that took place on that fateful Tuesday.

What today really means. What does it mean to you? I'll spare you the mushiness. It is simply for me, above all else, about appreciating what I have in front of me. Life. I woke up at a decent hour on the morning of September 11, 2001, but was literally oblivious to the world while I showered, got dressed, ate breakfast, read the paper and prepared for another typical long Tuesday at the office. I hadn't turned on the TV or radio. I hadn't checked my email yet. It was a crisp, beautiful morning here in San Antonio, blue skies, really couldn't have been any better weather-wise.

Then my cell phone went off. The number came in from my family's house. At that time, I was apprehensive anytime I got a call or email from my family's house here in town. I was cynical enough to think any such call or email would be about my mom or grandfather or some other close immediate family member being sick -- sick enough suddenly to warrant a trip to the ER. My mother, specifically, was a diabetic, dealing with circulation problems in her legs, arthritis and anxiety (she had been a manic depressive). Upon answering the phone, I heard my mother. She was inconsolable.

"They're bombing the World Trade Center," she cried. I thought to myself, "Who? Why? How? What's this? Is she exaggerating something?" This self-proclaimed news junkie had absolutely no clue what was happening that morning until maybe 9:30 local time. I turned on the TV. To show the gravity of the situation, no matter what station I flipped onto, the images were the same. Giant columns of smoke rising from Manhattan Island. Both towers had already collapsed. Firefighters were tending to the Pentagon. Cable TV news screen crawls had already become permanent fixtures. I pulled out blank videotapes and just began recording away, thinking...who knows what I was thinking then.

I drove to my family's home to see my loved ones. It was there for the first time I heard someone - my grandfather - utter the words "this is worse than Pearl Harbor." One of my aunts thought maybe this was the start of World War III. My mother lay in bed, still sobbing in a dark room. I told her everything would be fine. I did my best, as a loyal, loving son, to console my mother. We didn't know anyone who died that day. We really had no personal connection to it. But seeing the tears in my mom's eyes, I knew that something horrendous beyond scope had taken place and shook us all to our very core. I told my mom the people who truly loved her were still here on Earth with her and that, despite the attacks, we'd be fine. We, as a family, would be together strong and well.

I worked a long day and night helping to lay out the newspaper while monitoring the pre-social media Internet and whatever televised news I could find on the job. Once I got home that night, around midnight, I collapsed onto the floor and cried. Don't know why, really. Maybe I felt there was a need to sob with everyone else in the world.

I went outside briefly, sat on my porch and looked up into the night sky. I figured tomorrow, September 12, was another day. Mindy and I traveled to the northeast three summers ago, including a few days in New York where we briefly visited Ground Zero, where work crews were then busy prepping the solemn site for new construction. We reflected on the place, the remnants of a true American landmark. It was a cathartic experience.

Whereas 3,000 people who had plans with their families and friends and jobs September 10 no longer existed, the rest of us remaining on Earth have had to carry on and make the best of our lives. To love and find purpose in this world. To ensure that the level of hatred which drove the terrorists can never surpass our capacity for love, compassion and understanding. Some things have changed the past 10 years. What makes us positively human, for the better, haven’t.

That's all the seasonal blog updates for now. Peace out, amigos.

Motion Picture Meanderings

I've again fallen behind on my cinematic reviews. But to recap my late summer viewings, I enjoyed "Captain America" and "Cowboys and Aliens" more than I expected, more than what others should've anticipated. I joined the growing chorus of individuals who see "Captain America" as the best comic book film adaptation this year, not some gaudy, action-bloated romp. Plus it provides a fun link (along with the end credits trailer) to next year's release of "The Avengers." "Cowboys and Aliens," meanwhile was a thrilling adaptation of the graphic novel -- a risky hybrid that understandably could turn off a variety of Western fans and sci-fi geeks. But the movie somehow works. It's disappointing yet not shocking it didn't get bigger box office returns.

"Rise of the Planet of the Apes," too, was better than I had hoped but it also stopped short of epic. It nearly wiped out the nasty taste in everyone's mouths left by Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes" remake, and ROTPOTA also gives well-intentioned nods to the classic flicks. If you can get past the wooden lead acting performances, you find a compelling albeit unoriginal story of man's attempt to overcome and even control nature. Yet, the movie's climactic action piece feels rush and incomplete, even with the reveal through the end credits of how mankind finally gives way to simian rule on Earth.

As for "Contagion," I'm relieved to report it isn't a loose remake of "Outbreak." It's a quality thriller for our times, reflecting fears of how an infectious virus could easily become a global plague. Director Steven Soderbergh seamlessly weaves points of view of various characters, portrayed by an all-star case, together into a not-so-sentimental story of human survival. It's neither brilliant nor tremendously provocative, but serves as passable entertainment.

I can't say enough about "Horrible Bosses." Very fun, entertaining and hilarious. Jennifer Aniston is so much better and funnier when she's NOT in a contrived romantic comedy. All of it was so wrong yet so right.

Late summer television-watching has been topsy-turvy. The fourth season of "True Blood," coming to an end, has been a wild, wacky ride, one that makes me guess what kind of fabled supernatural "villain" could next become the focus of a whole new season of episodes. Vampires, werewolves, shape-shifters, fairies, and now, witches and mediums. Whatever dangerous charms of vampirism from the first 2 seasons have faded into the background, used more now as plot devices. Hopefully the fifth season will feature a bit more focused story development.

Oh, how I really wanted to love "Torchwood: Miracle Day." (Spoiler alert!) From the get-go, it was a difficult task to top the previous "series" of "Torchwood." "Children of Earth" was so immensely badass. The minute it was reported that Americans and the Starz Channel would anchor a new season of "Torchwood," I'm sure many of us fans had our doubts. Indeed, whatever beautiful "Britishness" the show has died a slow death. It was a contrived mess, all told, with some troubling performances (I'm looking at you, Bill Pullman and Lauren Ambrose) and weirder guest star casting (Mare Winningham? Wayne Knight? Frances Fisher?)

Away from BBC's supervision, the Americanized "Torchwood" went with some uninspired subplots, lame attempts at humor and, shockingly, full-on sex scenes. And we're talking man on man action. We knew about Captain Jack Harkness' preferences and have seen tiny bits of his flirtatious demonstrations, but never did I imagine seeing him go at it with a guy. Not once but twice. Whoa, nelly.

It's too bad. "Miracle Day" held a philosophically intriguing premise -- what if everyone on Earth simply, inexplicably, stopped dying one day? People "dying" would have to be categorized, quarantined in some way and even "dealt with eventually." A new layer of bureaucracy had to be developed. There'd be no more murder or suicide. As the population grew, there'd be a run on basic resources across the world, from food and water to medicine. Religions would have to rethink their concept of death and the beyond.

While Jack and Gwen Cooper got to kick some ass, they got sucked into American machismo realized by CIA agents. They also got sucked into this narrative storyline reflecting modern-day concerns about government and capitalism run amok. As one Twitterer commented: "Imagine you want to make a sci-fi show, yeah! Imagine nobody dies anymore, yeah! Imagine a mysterious, malevolent corporation being responsible for it all, yeah!"

And alas, thanks to roughly 15-20 minutes of deux es machina in the final episode, all was explained and it wasn't a mere mysterious, malevolent corporation behind "Miracle Day." But it wasn't an extraterrestrial nor supernatural thing responsible for it, neither. In fact, nobody -- not even the writers -- could explain or destroy it. The nefarious subplots featured in the earlier episodes made more non-sense in the end. I'm still a "Torchwood" fan, but unless BBC takes it back totally under its control, I fear for its future. (OK, end spoiler alert.)

Now that "True Blood" and "Torchwood" are concluding for another year, I look forward to new episodes of "Boardwalk Empire," "Squidbillies," "South Park," "Star Wars: The Clone Wars," "Superjail," "Archer," and the usual Sunday night Fox fare. I'm waiting for "Doctor Who" to really ramp things up during its remaining few episodes in 2011, and I applaud "Futurama," "Wilfred" and "Death Valley," The latter two shows, particularly, are so overwhelmingly "wrong" yet hilarious in their execution.

Regarding new shows on the broadcast networks, I may give "Terra Nova" and "Persons of Interest" a try, but I've been burned the last couple of years by "FastForward" and the "V" reboot, so I may just have to lean only on "Fringe" for broadcast network non-cartoon TV entertainment this fall/winter. Additionally, I'm steering clear on the broadcast network's efforts to rip of "Mad Men," namely "Pan Am" and "The Playboy Club." If you need "Mad Men," just wait for its return in a few months after AMC rolls out a new season of "The Walking Dead." Be patient. A new season of soul-deadening Don Draper will be here before you know it.

Review of "Transformers: Dark of the Moon," or How to Feign Dread at CGI-inspired Horror & Awesome

“We’ll kill all of them.” It’s a line, asserted so assuredly by a pissed-off Optimus Prime, in “Transformers: Dark of the Moon, that makes geek fans go giddy. Considering everything that typically goes into a Michael Bay movie, maybe perhaps for once, we have not a perfect “Transformers” film, but a good one. Way, way - there’s no other way but up – better than “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” and possibly on the verge of topping the original.

Of course, this has never been about character development, scripting or story line. (However, model Rosie Huntington-Whitely is considerably a marginal improvement over Megan Fox as the hottie by Shia LaBeauf’s side. (Hell, drywall would be an improvement over Megan Fox in the “acting” department.)

This is about special effects. This is about blowing up stuff real good. This is about all sorts of Autobots and Decepticons in an Earth-based battle of apocalyptic proportions. Humans die left and right to a greater extent in “Dark of the Moon” than in the previous two flicks. Los Angeles and New York get some bumps and bruises in the first two movies. Here, Washington D.C. and, especially Chicago, one of my favorite towns, gets destroyed up and down like nobody’s business. And visually, it’s rather epic.

With all the Autobots about to die, with Sam, his girlfriend this round, Epps and Lennox in perhaps the worst peril they’ve ever been in, and with all Earth hanging in the balance, there’s finally a darker, more thrilling aspect of cinematic “Transformers” in Part 3 than Bay and Steven Spielberg brought to the table in Parts 1 and 2.

Seeing that this perhaps Bay’s final “Transformers” movie as a director (too bad not his final, final movie ever), it’s a neat little sendoff. Is my ‘80s childhood for the better after seeing Michael Bay’s Transformers trilogy. Not necessarily, but to some certain degree, Bay redeemed himself from the carelessness of Part 2.

Now he’s free to make “Bad Boys 3.” Good luck with that.

Clues, Claims and Things Left Unspoken

So this is what it feels like to be 21.

Ok fine. Barely 30.

Alright, alright. 37. A few weeks into this age...now wholly into a markedly different age bracket... you must be curious as to whether I am that much closer to perennially cranky. Whether I'm wearing nothing but jumpsuits and sneakers 6 days a week. Whether I'm shouting for kids to "get off my lawn!” even when I don't have a lawn.

But never fear. I strive to maintain a careful balance between maturity, "acting my age" (whatever that really means), and preserving some semblance of a youthful, playful outlook on life. Sure, I'm still snarky. But I'm that way out of love. That's how my sense of humor rolls. I'm also learning to be a husband and step dad. I'm learning to better embrace my career. I'm learning to better envision an even brighter version of my future and that of my family. But I also strongly retain my inner geek, one that joyously holds dear a vibrant sense of nostalgia, and a continuing desire to envision an exciting array of life's possibilities.

Except for the part where two weeks ago, thanks to Craigslist, I sold off a gigantic chunk of sports cards -- 20,000 of them --- which I had accumulated mainly in my middle and high school years. I also recently sold off my remaining old-school Atari-era games. How old school? We're talking not just classic Missile Command, Pac-Man, Space Invaders or Pitfall, but Yars Revenge, Combat, Barnstorming, Haunted House and, inexplicably, two copies of Megaforce, based on one of the genuinely terrifically bad - no, horrendous - action flicks of the early '80s of the same name. Oh how I fondly remember going with my mom and aunt to Sears to get cartridges for my Atari 2600 system in the early '80s. Oh how I cried endlessly after selling off my sports cards and video games.

Funny that Mindy, one night out a few weeks ago, couldn't exactly recall how long she and I have known each other. Come this September, it will be five years. Five of the greatest years of my life - so far, of course =) It wasn't long before I Mindy that I experienced several personal "jolts," including the death of my mother and almost losing my long-time cat Topaz to a sudden illness. Being with Mindy -- this first marriage and instantly becoming a stepfather -- is a grand life-affirming event. I guess you could say the fun is just beginning. My bucket list is expanding by volumes.

Speaking of my inner geek being alive and well, I'm doing my best to keep track of Hollywood popcorn cinema. I'll spear you detailed, meandering individual reviews of films you've already seen for yourselves (in some cases, weeks or months ago) or even reviewed to marvelous ultra-snarky effect. So, here are my bullet-point reviews.

High scores for "X-Men: First Class," "Thor” and "Super 8." Director Matthew Vaughn's previous films "Layer Cake" and "Kick-Ass" were superb, so in that vein and by comparison, "First Class" was a vast improvement over "X-Men: The Last Stand" and "X-Men Origins: Wolverine." After all, we're kinda pretending those last two movies didn't happen. Like, you know, Superman 3 and 4. Comics-to-cinema-continuity be damned! However it was fun to see Kevin Bacon chewing up scenery as Sebastian Shaw, Michael Fassbender and James MacAvoy submit entertaining turns as young Eric Lensherr and Charles Xavier, Jennifer Lawrence making feel tingly as Raven Darkholme, and January Jones basically channeling Betty Draper in her performance as Emma Frost.

"Thor," ultimately was a fun popcorn comic adaptation. Not one of the greatest ever, but definitely not polarizing like the “Hulk” or “Fantastic Four” franchises or “Daredevil” or “Ghost Rider.” Definitely not on par with the likes of “Jonah Hex” nor “Elektra” or “Catwoman.” It's a nice set-up for next year's "The Avengers" and is serviceable as a standalone, big-screen introduction for audiences not so familiar with the source material. I'm a bit biased, being a Kenneth Branagh fan (sans the "Wild Wild West" misadventure), but he brought his epic Shakespearean touch to bear upon the specific set pieces exhibiting Thor's arrogance, Loki's scheming and a gamble to make Thor powerless in his descent to Earth. It works for the most part. It's entertaining for the most part. The acting is good as can be expected from such grandiose mainstream comic adaptations nowadays, although Tom Hiddleston was a solid winner as Loki, and doesn't Jeremy Renner's shadowy preview of Hawkeye send a few shivers up your spine? It had better. And it all makes up for the lack of chemistry between Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman.

Amazing some of reviewer comments out there about "Super 8" -- that it was unoriginal. That it was overly melodramatic. Maybe a little whiny. You got the memo, right? It's a homage! It's a J.J. Abrams' tribute to Spielbergian films (and similar family sci-fi fantasy) of the late 70s and early-mid 80s, perhaps a mini-golden era for us Gen X geeks. Don't deny having gotten warm fuzzies when E.T. bid farewell to Elliott. Or when Richard Dreyfuss boarded the mother ship. Or when Steve and Diane Freiling went into the light, fought noisy ghosts and yanked their Carol Anne from lost, bitter souls. You thought it was actually awesome when The Goonies, despite all their arguing and inanity, actually did all that crazy, heroic stuff. You thought it was cool when Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix and the other kid soared above suburbia to another part of the galaxy in an instant in their homemade spaceship. Queue the inspirational, sentimental John Williams scores. All of them.

Some people love Abrams. Some hate him. (Ok, the guy tripped me up a few times with "Mission: Impossible III" and several episodes of "Lost.") Having said all that, you can't help but be mostly and positively nostalgic with "Super 8." Sure, it has flaws. What films don't nowadays? All things considered, the acting is pretty on par (particularly Joel Courtney and Dakota Fanning's sister Elle), the special effects are sound, the geek and era references are fun to point out (i.e. Dick Smith's monster makeup handbook, zombies via the Romero corporation, the Space Shuttle interior poster, overnight photo development), and -- oh my -- lens flares. Glorious lens flares!

"The Hangover, Part 2” -- I'm still on the fence about this. As hard as it was to envision how such a sequel could ever hope to top its predecessor, there’s the desire to actually like or even love it. I liked “Hangover Part 2.” Didn’t love it. Of course, it’s exactly the same format as the original flick. We knew that going in. But expectations went up. Like they did when filming for “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace” kicked off. And there’s the curiosity factor, to see what hugely over-the-top antics these man-boys could find themselves in. Questions arise in your mind. Would such antics be as funny if not funnier? Would such antics garner the coveted title of “oh so wrong yet oh so irresistibly hilarious”? Would such antics be as polarizing as those in the first movie, if not more? After one viewing of the sequel, I could safely say it’s equally funny and entertaining, but not as satisfying. I’ll wait for the DVD extras and make up my mind then.

My mid-level rating for “Bridesmaids” is rising as time goes along. I’m a fan of Kristen Wiig. Her “Saturday Night Live” work aside, Kristen’s turn in “Knocked Up” was among the top 10 funniest things in that movie, and I took a liking to her characters in “Whip It” and “Extract.” And who wouldn’t be a fan of Maya Rudolph? Responding to comments by other reviewers…yes, “Bridesmaids” is cliched, but it wasn’t meant to be strictly a “The Hangover” for women. It’s how you deal with such cliched characters and elements, and Wiig, as the script writer, did well. With help from producer Judd Apatow, “Bridesmaids” turned out to be a full-on adult comedy with a heart, occasionally bordering on the raunchy but never explicitly crossing the line.

“Green Lantern,” to me, is harder to accept than Thor. It’s not dreadful nor is it great. It’s just there. It is difficult to adapt more than 50 years of comics into a two-hour mainstream origin flick. You’re torn between fanboys who desire pure translation, and an audience that is either mostly unfamiliar with the source material or has little patience for the most fantastical elements of the comic books. This movie is, essentially, a very loose adaptation of the Green Lantern: Secret Origin series. Ryan Reynolds looks the part of Hal Jordan (probably just as much as Kyle Rayner, but that’s another story). Mark Strong very much looks and sounds the part of Sinestro, perhaps the film’s strongest adapted character. The planet Oa looks just as CGI-astonishing as Asgard does in “Thor.” But Blake Lively adds little to the proceedings as Carol Ferris, and Peter Saargard’s Hector Hammond, just like in the comics, is a wasted quasi-villain. And suddenly it hits me how the Guardians of Oa and the film version of Parallax look like the titular character from “Megamind.” (Haw haw.) Don’t get me wrong. At times, “Green Lantern” looks like a truly comic bookish adaptation – colorful, swift with shreds of cheese thrown in for good measure.” But even as an introductory comic book movie, it leaves me neither overwhelmed nor excited.

Regardless, all of these summer flicks – in addition to catching up with the terrific the maybe-it’s-not-totally-a street art documentary “Exit Through the Gift Shop,” and the adequately fun popcorn flicks “The Losers,” “Red” and “The A-Team” – have given me the strength to get past the gaudiness and excess that apparently pervade “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” and “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” What, no “Pirates 4” review? Nope. I survived the previous three movies with half-interest, waiting to see two of them on DVD/pay-per-view. I can wait a little longer to see “On Stranger Tides.” Amazing how producer Jerry Bruckheimer managed to enthrall movie-goers with a cinematic mythology based on a Disney amusement park ride. But outside of Johnny Depp’s performances, I couldn’t fully embrace this franchise. What, no recap for “Cars 2”? Nah. The first movie didn’t do anything for me. But call me if Disney and Pixar commit to a sequel (or even prequel) to “The Incredibles.”

As far as television geekdom goes, I’m settling in for another off-the-walls season of “True Blood” and trying to give “Falling Skies” a serious chance. Can’t wait for the Doctor Who fall season premiere, teased in the spring season finale with the glorious title “Let’s Kill Hitler!” And I grow more cautious with Starz’s Americanized version of “Torchwood.” While I’m anxious to take my step kids Cody and Emily to see “Transformers” and “Captain America” on the big screen after their return to S.A. this coming weekend, I’m looking equally forward to viewing “Horrible Bosses” and “The Change-Up” on the side. The “Fright Night” remake? Ehh, ummm, someone may need to hit me from behind with a blunt object and drag me there. I don’t have a problem with the basic idea of David Tennant being a great vampire hunter, but he’s miles and miles from Roddy McDowell’s epic performance in the original. Not that I need to get into it here with this “need” to further ruin our collective childhoods with remakes/reboots of 1980s flicks. That’s another blog altogether.

Speaking of which, apologies for the infrequent blog updates. I shall endeavor to conjure up mid-to-late summer cinema reviews. Otherwise, my next full-blown blog update won’t come out until the winter solstice, at this rate. So whether it is catching The Spazmatics in a Rackspace concert (pictured above) or celebrating my dog Dixie’s 18th (you read right) birthday (pictured above), it’s been a milestone yet fast-paced spring and early summer. Can’t wait to see what the rest of this summer has in store. Only at that time would it be prudent to expedite preparations for the end of the Mayan calendar.

Aye Dios Frio Snowpocalypse 2011

Sure, it wasn't a blizzard for which I had hoped. It was a mere light dusting. Not enough to cover and stick to grass, only pavement and concrete, among other hard surfaces. And only in the middle of the night. But it was enough for me. Snow had returned, albeit briefly, to San Antonio. I have fond, vivid memories of our greater snowpocalypse, January 1985. Some, especially Northerners, may poke fun that we had to shut down an entire city for 3 days after a foot of snowfall. No matter. It's our turn. It's our brand of fun. Feel free to share in our unique South Texas style of wintry fun, whenever this happens.