Season's greetings and gruntings

So here we are - my favorite time of year. It's not because this is a time of reflection upon the year past or a time to pour out your heart in a season of giving, cheer, f amily togetherness, lights, trees, decorations and holiday tradition. It's because I have now a perfectly good excuse to revel in excess of holiday parties -- office potlucks, house shindigs, perhaps being a guest to a full-on corporate bash, which I hear still exists in some quarters.

No, rather I get to double-up on "special" hot chocolate and essentially empty my supply of Bailey's Irish Cream and Kahlua in eggnog. The pies! Look at all the pies! Look at the tamales! IHOP provides reason No. 2,742 why the terrorists hate us -- all-you-can-eat gingerbread pancakes.

There's countless airings of traditional holiday flicks such as "It's a Wonderful Life," "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Christmas Story" paired with newer classics such as "Bad Santa," "Scrooged" and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." Or if you're feeling really cinematically adventurous, check out "newer" holiday classics such as "Die Hard" (the original and first sequel), "Gremlins" and the original "Lethal Weapon." Nothing says ho-ho-ho like gunning for European terrorists (oh, sorry, Hans Gruber...high-class thieves), a Mogwai's malevolent offspring and drug dealers. You're not livin' the yuletide festivus mood until you've seen Christmas episodes of "The Boondocks," "Moral Orel," "Metalocalypse" or "Futurama." (Gracias mainly to Cartoon Network and Adult Swim!)

Traditional holiday tunes are on a loop. You can have your "Jingle Bells," "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" and "White Christmas." I'll happily take "Santa Claus and His Ol' Lady," the McKenzie brothers' "The 12 Days of Christmas," "There's Something Stuck Up in the Chimney" and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

You're practically encouraged to dress up your friends and loved ones -- two- and four-legged -- in ill-advised outfits (pictured). Shiner Bock's seasonal Shiner Cheer. A craving to consume mead. And best of all this year? As of today we're 364 days left. For everything and anything. Then the calendar of the ancient Mayans (they who knew what was up and what time it was) will end in a cataclysmic orgy of volcanic eruptions, massive tsunamis, subduction of the Earth's crust and general dismay and disenchantment worldwide. It's safe to assume that not event John Cusack in a speeding limo or RV won't be able to save us all.

Until the end of the world -- Merry/Feliz/Happy Christmas/Navidad/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Solstice and enjoy 2012 -- all 355 days of it.

BCS Has Eaten My Brain

I don't doubt the two best schools, poll-wise, will play for this year's NCAA Division I football national championship. But yet, how we arrive there -- in relation to other schools and where they belong or don't -- again is a source of frustration. I speak of course of The Bull Crap Series, errr, umm, Bowl Championship Series.

LSU and Alabama, among others, displayed another season’s worth of dominance across the Southeastern Conference (most of it anyway), particularly on the defensive end. These are two primed, well-coached, brutal college football programs. But – ahem, a rematch. We already saw this game a few weeks ago. Does anyone outside of the SEC really want to see the sequel? Alabama had its shot at LSU and lost. Didn’t win their conference.

You might call Alabama/LSU the best championship game match-up possible, but is Alabama the most deserving opponent here? The BCS gurus again “got it right,” in a manner of speaking according to the existing system. But the BCS gurus, and their supporting army of anti-playoff honks, also make a case – yet again – that their system is flawed and should no longer be used to pick the two programs to fight for a national championship.

Sure the Crimson Tide’s lone loss this year was a tight, narrow one to a powerful No. 1 squad. But it’s not like Alabama squashed Oklahoma State somewhere this year. Sure, Oklahoma State had a bid to run the table but failed by a bit to Iowa State. However, the Cowboys beat eight bowl-bound teams. Oklahoma State may not be the “better’ team than Alabama, but we don’t know that until we play it out on the field, right? Five years ago, we had half a dozen teams that had a legitimate shot at the BCS title game only to be bumped out by the eventual selected programs, LSU and Ohio State.

Again, BCS gurus might say those were the nation’s best two teams at that time. But were the likes of Hawaii and Virginia Tech and Kansas mere chopped liver? Ultimately, we leave things to a computer, decimal points, to determine who should play for the national championship. Even worse, the BCS uses the coaches’ poll and the Harris Interactive poll. Quite a few coaches have OSU pegged fourth or lower. Not surprisingly that coaches are biased, myopic and play politics. However, it’s doesn’t make me feel any better that a lot of these coaches leave actual voting to their respective sports information directors.

But then in the Harris poll, 16 voters ranked OSU below No. 3. This after the Cowboys destroy the Oklahoma in the Bedlam Series? The computer doesn’t care about the margin of victory in that specific case, and human voters probably do and should for the most part. But it’s like the rout of the Sooners didn’t even happen. It’s like it didn’t matter. What world are they living in? Not enough? There’s the flaw of how BCS king-makers compile computer rankings, making no distinction between a small and large gap between two teams.

It’s not shocking that coaches who feel their schools got stiffed this year somehow are criticizing this year’s BCS schedule outcome. Yes, Boise State had another chance to run the table only to screw the pooch in kicking a field goal against TCU. Boise State coach Chris Petersen, whose Broncos were left again out of a BCS bowl and passed over for “higher bowls” by the likes of Michigan and Virginia Tech, said: "The whole thing needs to be changed, there's no question about it.” " ... I think (change) is coming, I really do,” added Petersen, whose Broncos are headed for a classic Maaco Las Vegas Bowl. This is the first time since the BCS expanded to five games that a school outside of the conferences with automatic qualifying bids failed to make a BCS bowl. Dale Wetzel in his Yahoo rant last week said, “The current formula is nothing more than nonsense math and an unsound popular vote that gets polished up by television. Anyone who cares about college football should demand something better.”

Those “powers that be” are primarily television executives and power conference presidents who only want to see and sell sex when it comes to bowl games. They'd rather arbitrarily pair two traditional powerhouses via a computer rather than let rising star schools settle such questions where it truly counts: on the playing field. Just like virtually every other level of sport. Wow. What a startling concept. Even the Kazahkistani kick-goathead league has a playoff. I’ve won money there. Without the NCAA basketball tournament, schools like George Mason and Butler likely would have never made it to the Final Four. You see Gonzagas and Marquettes make their mark on the national scene. Without the College World Series, schools like Cal State-Fullerton and Long Beach State -- not so much a Texas or USC -- get to shine and quite often.

Well, we won’t waste further time going into the minds of those myopically opposed to a NCAA Division I tournament of some kind. Even the “bowl games are a tradition” and “schools will lose money” and “you can’t make the student-athletes play that long or late into January” philosophies. None of those arguments really work. Never did, never will. Some say the BCS isn’t perfect, but that it’s a start.

So, what if a playoff system did exist for college football? My goodness, what fun that’d be. OK, let’s use BCS as a springboard. This is what I'd do. You start with automatic champions from 11 FBS (Football Championship Series) conferences (regular-season champs and/or championship game victors). If there are co-champions, it’s up to the affected conference to determine who gets what we’ll call an FBS bid. You could combine the final regular season total average poll ranking with regular-season head-to-head outcomes for a tie-breaker. (Sound unfair? Good. You get to retain some semblance of unfairness in the process of arriving at a final national champion)

You could average the rankings of the AP, ESPN, USA Today, Harris and Coaches' polls, emphasizing which schools get the most place votes and arrive at a final aggregate Top 25 poll (a de facto BCS ranking system without the computer interference). Those are arguably the strongest, long-standing, most popular and credible of Division I polls. And you get to a beautiful bracket like the one above (courtesy of NCAA). Isn't it gorgeous and awe-inspiring?

Here’s what a final 2011 FBS aggregate poll would look like:

1. LSU (SEC title game champion)
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma State (Big 12 champion)
4. Stanford
5. Oregon (Pac-10 title game champion)
6. Boise State
7. Arkansas
8. Wisconsin (Big 10 title game champion)
9. South Carolina
10. Kansas State
11. Virginia Tech (ACC Coastal Division champion)
12. Michigan
13. Michigan State
14. Clemson (ACC title game champion)
15. Baylor
16. TCU (Mountain West champion)
17. Houston
18. Georgia (SEC Eastern Division champion)
19. Oklahoma
20. Nebraska
21. Southern Miss (Conference USA title game champion)
22. West Virginia (Big East champion)
23. Penn State
24. Cincinnati
25. Florida State
Northern Illinois (MAC title game champion); Arkansas State (Sun Belt champion); Louisiana Tech (WAC champion)

Ultimately, FBS automatic bids go to LSU, Oklahoma State, Oregon, Wisconsin, Clemson, TCU, Southern Miss, West Virginia, Northern Illinois, Arkansas State and Louisiana Tech

You add the top independent team ranked high enough (overall in polls) for an FBS bid and/or four (or five) other highest-ranked schools (overall in polls). So this year these schools get an at-large bid: Alabama, Stanford, Boise State, Arkansas and South Carolina.

The ultimate FBS tournament seedings in a 16 vs. 1, 15 vs. 2, 14, vs. 3, etc. format would be:

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma State
4. Stanford
5. Oregon
6. Boise State
7. Arkansas
8. Wisconsin
9. South Carolina
10. Clemson
11. TCU
12. Southern Miss
13. West Virginia
14. Northern Illinois
15. Louisiana Tech
16. Arkansas State

Take into account the oldest, popular, most lucrative, traditional bowls and mix in some regional flair and considerate schedules. You can keep some of the best bowls. (I mean, really. The glut of bowls is ludicrous. More and more are added each year, some from inauspicious sponsors. Does anyone care to see the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl? Oooh, barnburner. Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl? Really? New Era Pinstripe? Good lord. Belk Bowl? What the hell is a Belk Bowl? Oh, we could so perpetuate a Roady's Truck Stops FreeCreditReport.com Pomegranate Cherry Salad Bowl presented by Franklin American Mortgage Company joke.

All joking aside, use 15 of those prestigious, richest, most famous (i.e. powerful, established) bowls as the FBS bowl matches. All other bowls… yes, even your precious Idaho Potato, Beef O’Brady’s St. Petersburg, Little Caesars, GoDaddy.com… may remain independent and ongoing aside from the FBS contests. No changes needed there.

Rotate the FBS bowls as quarterfinal, semifinal and final games, all of which could retain and maybe even increase the number of ticket-buyers, TV viewers and payouts. One reason? There’s even greater incentive to play in such a bowl. Not just one bowl. But a series of true head-to-head games where all the conference champions (not just the typical, known powerhouses) and other top-ranked squads have a genuine (and fair) shot at an undisputed national title. Throw in serious regional consideration and voila. Imagine that!

The younger, Decemberish bowls host quarterfinals on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, given this year’s calendar:

December 14
Louisiana Tech vs. Alabama - Independence Bowl, Shreveport
Northern Illinois vs. Oklahoma State - Insight (Copper) Bowl, Tempe

December 15
Arkansas State vs. LSU - Chick-Fil-A (Peach) Bowl, Atlanta
West Virginia vs. Stanford - Sun Bowl, El Paso

Dec. 16
South Carolina v. Wisconsin– Gator Bowl, Jacksonville
TCU vs. Boise State - Alamo Bowl, San Antonio

Dec. 17
Clemson vs. Arkansas – Liberty Bowl, Memphis
Southern Miss vs. Oregon – Holiday Bowl, San Diego

Probable winners?
Alabama, Oklahoma State, LSU, Stanford, TCU, South Carolina, Clemson, Oregon

More bowls in Thursday and Friday (or Saturday were it not for holiday) semifinals involve 1-16 vs. 8-9; 5-12 vs. 4-13; 6-11 vs. 3-14; 7-10 vs. 2-15.

Dec. 22
Alabama vs. Clemson– Capital One (Citrus) Bowl, Orlando
TCU vs. Oklahoma State– Cotton Bowl, Dallas

Dec. 23
Oregon vs. Stanford – Rose Bowl, Pasadena
South Carolina vs. LSU– Outback Bowl, Tampa

Probable winners?
Alabama, Oklahoma State, Oregon, LSU

Final Four of sorts/Friday, Dec. 30
Oregon vs. LSU - Fiesta Bowl, Tempe
Oklahoma State vs. Alabama- Orange Bowl, Miami

Probable winners?
LSU, Oklahoma State

Championship game, Friday, Jan. 6
Sugar Bowl, New Orleans
Oklahoma State vs. LSU

Just as well, the title game would still end up LSU/Alabama, too. But I guess we’ll never know. I recall how a House subcommittee approved legislation in late 2009 aimed at forcing college football to switch to a playoff system to determine a national champion, over the objections of some lawmakers who said Congress had more pressing matters on its plate. To those naysayers, I say screw war, health care and jobs. Give us a playoff system!