So here we are - my favorite time of year. It's not because this is a time of reflection upon the year past or a time to pour out your heart in a season of giving, cheer, f amily togetherness, lights, trees, decorations and holiday tradition. It's because I have now a perfectly good excuse to revel in excess of holiday parties -- office potlucks, house shindigs, perhaps being a guest to a full-on corporate bash, which I hear still exists in some quarters.
No, rather I get to double-up on "special" hot chocolate and essentially empty my supply of Bailey's Irish Cream and Kahlua in eggnog. The pies! Look at all the pies! Look at the tamales! IHOP provides reason No. 2,742 why the terrorists hate us -- all-you-can-eat gingerbread pancakes.
There's countless airings of traditional holiday flicks such as "It's a Wonderful Life," "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Christmas Story" paired with newer classics such as "Bad Santa," "Scrooged" and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." Or if you're feeling really cinematically adventurous, check out "newer" holiday classics such as "Die Hard" (the original and first sequel), "Gremlins" and the original "Lethal Weapon." Nothing says ho-ho-ho like gunning for European terrorists (oh, sorry, Hans Gruber...high-class thieves), a Mogwai's malevolent offspring and drug dealers. You're not livin' the yuletide festivus mood until you've seen Christmas episodes of "The Boondocks," "Moral Orel," "Metalocalypse" or "Futurama." (Gracias mainly to Cartoon Network and Adult Swim!)
Traditional holiday tunes are on a loop. You can have your "Jingle Bells," "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" and "White Christmas." I'll happily take "Santa Claus and His Ol' Lady," the McKenzie brothers' "The 12 Days of Christmas," "There's Something Stuck Up in the Chimney" and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
You're practically encouraged to dress up your friends and loved ones -- two- and four-legged -- in ill-advised outfits (pictured). Shiner Bock's seasonal Shiner Cheer. A craving to consume mead. And best of all this year? As of today we're 364 days left. For everything and anything. Then the calendar of the ancient Mayans (they who knew what was up and what time it was) will end in a cataclysmic orgy of volcanic eruptions, massive tsunamis, subduction of the Earth's crust and general dismay and disenchantment worldwide. It's safe to assume that not event John Cusack in a speeding limo or RV won't be able to save us all.
Until the end of the world -- Merry/Feliz/Happy Christmas/Navidad/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Solstice and enjoy 2012 -- all 355 days of it.
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